Within an instant I saw the mountains and the vast valley plains that I had secretly loved for the past seven years of my life rush out of sight. All I could see was the cloudy mist of the morning looming from afar. I was driving away toward a new horizon but within that moment of Purgatory I felt like I was being submerged deep into the unknown as everything I once knew became increasingly more nebulous as I plunged deeper and deeper into the abyss. All of my worries, pressures, and insecurities flooded into my lungs all at once, taking away any opportunity I might have wanted to breath in the familiar air one last time. I was being baptized, engulfed within my own dreams. My whole heart, mind, soul and body scrambled and skewed within the heavy pull of gravity. My eyes scanning and panning up and down, back and forth, searching for a direct point of focus. Through all the struggle I could only make out but one thing: water. Water was all I could see and think about as I tucked and rolled in it. “It” being the seemingly bottomless ocean becoming the stomach and “I”, the embryo it was impregnated by. Whilst meditating upon the violent and aggressive pull of the current, I noticed that although my lungs had become an anchor for my body, sinking me into the deep, I was no longer suffocating within the moment. The many miles of water that stacked above me no longer felt so troubling and all the weight from my body had eroded away with the current. I focused my eyes upon the billowy earth below me and felt the welcoming suction of the ground. My gaze then swept up directly ahead, hands reaching into the distance as my body slowly started to feel lighter. Neptune’s magnetic pull on my flesh was now starting to feel like the light winds of home carrying me off into neo-cognizance. The ocean I once feared became my sky and what lied beneath the ocean was rebirth. It struck me within that moment that home wasn’t about where I was but more about where my soul and heart could roam as freely as possible. I had been born from the heavens of my mountain town into the incubating stomach of the ocean, and finally out into the gentle tempest of my heart’s Athena. No more was I troubled by the same worries, pressures, and insecurities from before. My soul was cleansed and body, remade anew. One thing, however, stayed consistent through it all.
The mountains and valley plains that I secretly loved for the past eight years of my life were still in my heart, manifesting and molding itself into a warm gleam of light that no longer needed to be visualized, but felt. This warm gleam of light gave me strength through my journey and guided me through my optimum path. No longer was I an embryo drowning within uncertainty. I could see for miles, miles, and miles.
I had left Purgatory and found home within myself.